The lucky television stars of X-Play get all the juicy announcements. Tonight, for example, they announced that Killzone 2 would finally be getting its glorious day in the sun come Feb. 27. Not the worst delay ever considering it was supposed to be a holiday release. Plus, I think we’ve all shot enough enemies this holiday season, so spreading it out throughout the year isn’t so bad. Oh, and that’s only four days after my birthday, in case, you know, maybe you cared to mark it down.

Celebrity Sports Showdown is not the worst game on the Wii, but its not a long way off. Only the SouthPeak Interactive crime against humanity Pool Party stands out as much worse than this, but by a lot narrower margin than any game should. I have resolved to go back to the local games emporium and see if I can instead give them 3 GBP to take this disaster far, far away.

Rum…the beloved and favorite drink of all pirates, is surrounded by many legends and there are lots of praises about his effect. And where the pirate needs rum, the online roleplayer needs heal potions. Many a fight, no matter if on land or at sea, has turned around all of a sudden by the well timed use of a potion or first-aid kit.

Because of that, all players of Bounty Bay Online, who currently game on the Free-2-Play server “Mary Read” will receive the opportunity to buy any potions and support items with a discount of 25 percent until December 24. Everybody planning to finally defeat their worst adversary or to participate in one of the large city sieges should act now, to buy one or the other potion.

Boounty Bay Online was the first and is the most successful of the seafaring online games and can be downloaded free of charge on the official webiste. New ordinary seaman can set sail after a short registration process.

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My girlfriend is the definition of a casual gamer. She loves the “LEGO” series, carries a Nintendo DS everywhere and balks at the idea of touching an Xbox 360 controller. But she also thinks many Wii games are too simple.

She has never shown an interest in the more complicated games I enjoy. Then, “Left 4 Dead” showed up. She loves horror movies. The idea of starring in a personalized “Night of the Living Dead” adventure was too much to pass up.

There was a minor setback, though: she has never played a shooter before.

Yes, people like that still exist. And it was fascinating to watch her come to grips with it. When she asked “how do I aim?” and I pointed out the second stick, she gasped. “I can look around? I thought I could only look forward!”

She just blew my mind.

We take for granted our skills moving through the 3D spaces of video games. My girlfriend is quickly teaching me how much our ability to enjoy frantic 3D games is based on the dozens of similar games we’ve played dozens before. This is a wild and foreign concept that my girlfriend has never even thought about before.

Her first instinct was to try and avoid aiming entirely. But when navigating around doors became an issue, she was forced to figure out what the second analog stick did. I felt bad for her. We were playing online with friends of ours, while she quickly sunk the team in almost every scenario we played. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” she would plea, as she tried to climb up the stairs.

I started taking mental notes as she would run into stumbling blocks. In her first two and a half hours with a 3D shooter ever, these are the things that most frustrated her:

* The difference between left button and left trigger (”Why are there two?”)
* Having to literally look up to climb a ladder (”Why do I keep falling off?”)
* Moving and shooting at the same time (”I always have to stop and aim”)
* The amount of buttons on the controller (”I keep tapping X instead of Y”)

She made me chuckle and remember my first experiences in 3D. I couldn’t have been the only person who used to move their controller around in the air as they made a turn in “Gran Turismo.” In “Left 4 Dead,” my girlfriend would bob and weave as she would moved. She turned her head as she aimed.

To be fair, “Left 4 Dead” was probably the worst kind of shooter to have my girlfriend understand shooters, but it had to happen this way. The reason she was interested wasn’t because “Left 4 Dead” had cool weapons, awesome online multiplayer or any press release other bullet point — she wanted to blow up zombies. She showed no interest in “Resistance 2″ (she thought the aliens looked lame) or “Gears of War 2″ (no response whatsoever), but “Left 4 Dead” nabbed her.

It’s easy to roll your eyes at the people who look at an Xbox 360 controller and say it’s too complicated

Two sessions later, she was starting to get the hang of things. She could climb ladders with ease. Aiming proved to be the hardest bit. Moving and shooting simultaneously remained a remarkable obstacle. But the addictiveness of “Left 4 Dead,” and the fact that friends can be around to help her in a jam, meant she kept playing and wasn’t becoming frustrated enough to quit.

It’s easy to roll your eyes at the people who look at an Xbox 360 controller or Dual Shock and say it’s too complicated. “Left 4 Dead” proves there are hardcore experiences — not just Wii and DS games — that can draw them in…but the controller remains a challenge that won’t be easily overcome.

I’m proud of my girlfriend for taking this bold (and scary) move, but now this brings up another problem to deal with: she’s going to want to use my TV!

Bemani fans, lend me your ears. And fingers. The latest iteration of Korean-developed rythm game DJMAX, which found some stateside popularity with its PSP Ports, is now being tested at two locations in the Los Angeles area. This beta version of DJMAX Technika can be played at UCLA's Ackerman Union arcade, Coinz, or at Game Play in Long Beach.

The game still features its trademark synth-tek soundtrack and beautifully animated Korean art background videos, but gone is the furious, rapid-fire button assault we've grown used to. Instead, DJMAX Technika uses a touch screen, (which is reportedly more sensitive than that of an iPhone), and has players poking at dots and tracing their fingers over lines to keep the groove going.

Some Bemani purists might groan at the idea of this new interface, but it looks pretty awesome if you ask me. PM Studios producer Michael Yum will be hanging around at the UCLA test looking for feedback, so if you're in the LA area, go check it out and see what you think. At worst, it might mean that the few remaining arcades in this country would have something more interesting to play than DDR and Golden Tee. 

[Via Bemanistyle - Thanks Eddie!]

Not exactly the best town for someone looking for a lot of space. Things might get just a tad cramped. Check out the full list here.

Most of us sensible people call them videogames. One particular group simply calls them "violence." This particular group calls itself The Timothy Plan. Most of sensible people call them morons.

The Timothy Plan is a mutual fund group that "only invests in companies who reach very quantifiable moral and ethical standards." Group founder Art Ally is particularly interested in shying away from companies that "provide products that harm children." Of course, those products are naturally videogames ... sorry, violent videogames. We have to remember that these videogames are so VIOLENT!

Violent video games have become increasingly more popular as graphics and improvements in technology have improved over the years. Studies have shown that aggressive attitudes and even actions can be increased after playing violent games for as little as 20 minutes. Yet, video games have emerged as one of the most popular forms of entertainment for children, with over 70% living in a home with at least one video game player and 33% of children have one in their bedroom.

Even more amazingly, The Timothy Plan has written a detailed list of the worst videogames out there, rating them on violence, language and -- get this -- how GAY they are. Well, it wouldn't be moralist Christian extremism without a little pathetic homophobia, would it? Yes, Art Ally and his loathsome cross-bearers call Army of Two out for having "homo-erotic undertones" and complains about the "hidden love affair between Marcus and Dom" in Gears of War 2. I sh*t you not!

Each videogame in the list is rated on various offensive criteria. "Gay/Lesbian" is one of the "immoral" issues that the games get a rating for. That's f*cking disgusting. 

These people really are uncivilized, vile creatures. How they can criticize the offensive content in videogames from one side of their mouths while spouting ignorant, despicable, homophobic drivel from the other side is truly hypocritical bullsh*t. They whine about some games containing "blasphemy" because it insults their God, yet have no problem insulting gay people. Such scumbags give real Christians a bad name.